How To Keep A Relationship Working Top 6 Tips

How To Keep A Relationship Working Top 6 Tips

by Dr Emma Gray - 16th July, 2012

Relationship problems are often similar whatever type of relationship you are in. Here are some pearls to help you make it work over the longer term:
1. Communication
Talking about it is the only way to work something out. Human beings are fundamentally inward focused and more importantly are not mind readers, if you don’t tell your partner what the problem is they won’t guess.
2. Compliment Don’t Criticise
Research has shown that the more the pendulum swings in the favour of compliments or criticism the more likely the relationship is to succeed.
3. Don’t Take Each Other For Granted
Express gratitude and appreciation as much as you can, if one of you feels they are being taken for granted this will quickly spiral into resentment, never an ingredient of a successful relationship
4. Compromise
In practical terms this involves the man accepting influence from his partner and the woman moderating her approach to seeking influence.
5. Accept That Sometimes You Are Being Unreasonable
Try not to become too entrenched in one position (e.g. martyr, victim) and try and step back and consider what you are contributing to the problem. Relationships involve 2 people, both of whom bring something to the equation.
6. Have A Life Outside Of The Relationship
Putting all of your eggs in one basket places an enormous amount of pressure on the relationship and leaves it feeling very 1 dimensional, after all, what is there to talk about if you are living in each others pockets!


Dr Emma Gray

Dr Emma Gray

I am often the first person with whom my patients share significant and intimate thoughts and memories; I never take that privileged position for granted nor the opportunity to help someone to feel better about themselves and discover a more fulfilling life. One of my colleague once described me as natural psychologist; I guess she was alluding to the fact that I feel at ease being a therapist, I can empathise with people’s distress and discomfort but don’t feel overwhelmed by it, I can understand their problem and know how to help, it has always just felt like what I should be doing.


Read more about my approach to counselling here...


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