Dealing With Bullying

Dealing With Bullying

by Dr Emma Gray - 17th April, 2013

Bullying is an experience that is not limited by age, whether you are in the playground or at work if you suffer from low self esteem and confidence you are vulnerable. A bully will only target those that they perceive will accept the bad treatment and abuse, have you ever heard of a confident assertive and self assured individual being picked on? A bully will be drawn to their victim almost via a second sense and their victim will equally be attracted back to them, at some level believing that they deserve the treatment or at least do not deserve better. People with chronically low self esteem and confidence will often be more sexually attracted to partners with the potential to mistreat them, finding those who will treat them with love and kindness boring and uninteresting.

This pattern of individuals with low self esteem entering destructive relationships starts in the playground and so ideally help should be offered to the individual here to prevent the problem escalating and following them into adulthood where is can lead to a range of problems including anxiety, social phobia, panic attacks, depression, eating disorders (including anorexia nervosa, binge eating disorder, bulimia nervosa, eating disorders not otherwise specified) obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and sleep problems.

The answer is not to remove the individual from the situation but to help them to build their self esteem so that they no longer accept the bad treatment and to teach them the skills to assertive themselves and insist on better treatment. There are a range of therapy and counselling techniques that can be useful to help an individual achieve these goals, one of the most effective is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Schema Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Managing bullying and resolving the factors that make an individual vulnerable to it is not a straight forward process but the first step to initiating it is to identify that there is a problem and the earlier the better.

The clinical and counselling psychologists at The British CBT & Counselling Service are experts in using a range of therapy and counselling techniques (including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Schema Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to help the victims of bullying and individuals suffering from low self esteem. We have clinics across London (Richmond, Clapham, Fulham, Chiswick, Marylebone, Notting Hill) and outside of London (West Bridgford (Nottingham), Cambridge, Stamford (Lincolnshire) so call us now to make an appointment.


Dr Emma Gray

Dr Emma Gray

I am often the first person with whom my patients share significant and intimate thoughts and memories; I never take that privileged position for granted nor the opportunity to help someone to feel better about themselves and discover a more fulfilling life. One of my colleague once described me as natural psychologist; I guess she was alluding to the fact that I feel at ease being a therapist, I can empathise with people’s distress and discomfort but don’t feel overwhelmed by it, I can understand their problem and know how to help, it has always just felt like what I should be doing.


Read more about my approach to counselling here...


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