5 Top Tips For Dealing With Low Self Esteem And Confidence

5 Top Tips For Dealing With Low Self Esteem And Confidence

by Dr Emma Gray - 12th September, 2014

1. Identify Your Self Critical Voice

The source of low self esteem and confidence is a self critical voice that negatively evaluates and compares you unfavourably with others, constantly highlighting your failing and suggesting that you are not good enough. This train of thought leads to feelings of anxiety, depression and self defeating behaviour which further undermines self esteem and confidence. Identify this train of thought and then try and evaluate both its accuracy and helpfulness. The try and develop a more self accepting, non judgemental alternate to replace it with.

2. Keep A Positive Log

On a daily basis keep a log of all the things that you have achieved, done well or even just survived. This will balance out the self critical train of thought that keeps note of all the times that you could have done better. Such a log will start to build a train of thought that is more naturally nurturing and accepting and that will elicit feelings of happiness and calmness instead of anxiety and depression.

3. Treat Yourself Well

When you have low self esteem and confidence it feels uncomfortable to treat yourself but this is an essential part of building yourself up. Make list of little things that you can do, ideally on a daily basis, to nurture and care for yourself. Doing these things overtime will undermine the sense of worthlessness that underpins low self esteem and confidence and will diminish the associated feelings of anxiety and depression.

4. What Would You Say To A Friend

If you are struggling with something (e.g. a problem, worry or decision) try to imagine the advice that you would give to a friend in the same situation. We are often able to be kinder and less judgemental to others because we can separate ourselves more easily from the emotional aspect of a situation when we are not directly involved in it. This separation frees up our ability to think in a more accurate and helpful way and to be encouraging and nurturing.

5. Get Some Help

If your self esteem and confidence has been chronically low you may need to seek more professional help from a Clinical Psychologist or Counselling Psychologist. They will be able to provide a course of therapy (most likely Cognitive Behavioural Therapy {CBT}) that will help you to build your self esteem and confidence and diminish associated feelings of anxiety and depression and self defeating behaviours.


Dr Emma Gray

Dr Emma Gray

I am often the first person with whom my patients share significant and intimate thoughts and memories; I never take that privileged position for granted nor the opportunity to help someone to feel better about themselves and discover a more fulfilling life. One of my colleague once described me as natural psychologist; I guess she was alluding to the fact that I feel at ease being a therapist, I can empathise with people’s distress and discomfort but don’t feel overwhelmed by it, I can understand their problem and know how to help, it has always just felt like what I should be doing.


Read more about my approach to counselling here...


View all my other articles here...

Recent Posts by
Dr Emma Gray:

Leave a Comment

Post